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  • Gave the Dalai Lama a beej . MLIG

    +5/-5   

    1:26 pm on October 29, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • DP '87 3:31 pm on October 29, 2014 | Reply

      That reminds me, I need someone to write Volume II of my biography. You seem like a good choice. Interested?

    • I see you 3:31 pm on October 29, 2014 | Reply

      Pi Phi.

    • buttfucker 420 10:51 am on October 30, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo

  • Just found out that my adviser is writing a book that can benefit from my thesis data. MLIG

    +5/-2   

    7:59 pm on October 25, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • PhDropout 8:58 pm on October 25, 2014 | Reply

      Lemme guess, you get no royalties for your hard work. Yeah.

      • TRVP 11:53 am on October 28, 2014 | Reply

        Lemme guess, your advisor paid for your research, in both tuition and advising time. Yeah.

    • Do you really 10:24 pm on October 25, 2014 | Reply

      Think that a Professor is going to benefit from the research of an undergrad, research which is probably half-assed and/or BSed anyway?

    • buttfucker 420 10:26 pm on October 25, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just found out that my advisor is writing a book about buttfucking that can benefit from my research 420 swag yolo

    • Hey UG 3:09 am on October 26, 2014 | Reply

      You and your thesis and your data are all irrelevant

      • Hey GS 10:36 pm on October 26, 2014 | Reply

        You and your thesis and your data are all irrelevant

        and you have no friends

        • Kazakh judge 1:05 am on October 27, 2014 | Reply

          Yoyo r u so buttfuckingly dumb that you can’t come up with your own retort?
          -420/10

        • OC 11:37 am on October 27, 2014 | Reply

          actually, i know that my thesis, data etc are all completely irrelevant, as do most grad students. i’m not knocking OC for being irrelevant; i’m knocking him for being so oblivious to his irrelevance.

          • Are you 2:00 pm on October 28, 2014 | Reply

            a grad student? I thought only undergrad research was irrelevant. Is grad research also irrelevant and BSed?

            • Another GS 11:50 am on October 29, 2014

              Hey, we’re people too! :P

            • Yeah but 4:20 pm on October 29, 2014

              Don’t you need like actual, non-BSed research in order to get a tenure track job afterward? And don’t your professors actually check your sources?

            • OC 11:08 pm on October 29, 2014

              yeah i agree that grad students can’t BS their theses, since they have to present, publish, defend etc. but that’s quite distinct from relevance.

      • '15 11:31 pm on October 27, 2014 | Reply

        You can’t simultaneously identify yourself as a Princeton graduate student and not receive ridicule for overgeneralization. The scent of bitter envy wafts out from this one.

        • oh 1:11 am on October 29, 2014 | Reply

          the irony

    • meth major 9:01 pm on October 26, 2014 | Reply

      I told you so. Math professors are all researching meth as a job on the side.

  • It’s been so long since I’ve had some. I got a rise today when someone ordered a ”tall blonde (roast)” @ Starbucks. FML

    +1/-5   

    7:50 pm on October 25, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Math 14 1:25 am on October 26, 2014 | Reply

      some what?

  • Do any people who are both poor and ugly get into Ivy/Cottage/TI? MLIHopeful

    +2/-4   

    7:39 pm on October 25, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • No 1:26 pm on October 26, 2014 | Reply

      If you describe yourself as poor and ugly, then your lack of confidence has probably come across in your interactions with members of your grade and members of those clubs. Nobody in these clubs is perfect, but we at least have a modicum of self worth.

    • HH'15? 9:06 pm on October 26, 2014 | Reply

      .

      • wow 9:21 pm on October 27, 2014 | Reply

        Rude.

        • wow 4:55 pm on October 28, 2014 | Reply

          Such rude. Very bicker.

      • Kinda 10:58 pm on October 28, 2014 | Reply

        a dick move. there is only one hh in 2015…

        • HH '15 12:25 pm on October 29, 2014 | Reply

          Thanks for outing me, pricks.

  • Irony. There’s a great dating pool here but it appears most people are either into sex only, too busy with work or frightened about trying a relationship to find love. FOLL

    +13/-1   

    3:43 pm on October 23, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Borat 4:21 pm on October 23, 2014 | Reply

      Wawaweewa sexytime with your rca-in-law yoyo high five

    • Wow 8:10 pm on October 23, 2014 | Reply

      As a ’15, this is probably the most insightful description I have seen of Princeton’s dating scene.

      Of course there are exceptions, but I think this captures accurately the lives of most people here.

    • Taken for granted 9:43 pm on October 23, 2014 | Reply

      We are going to regret not taking advantage of so many dating options in college. My recent graduate brother in the working world only has married people around him now. In the spirit, ask THAT person out for Coffee, frozen yogurt, bubble tea. Why not?! You could find love and, in the long run, love is above all else

      • easy answer 4:45 am on October 25, 2014 | Reply

        Threesome!

    • Priorities 4:31 pm on October 24, 2014 | Reply

      As to those who excuse not trying as they are “too busy with work “it’s kind of sad that that’s the priority as love is a bigger deal in life in the long run. All your work can’t love you back

      • those 6:46 pm on October 24, 2014 | Reply

        are just excuses. You deserve better than those who don’t treasure you.

      • Honestly 8:01 pm on October 24, 2014 | Reply

        If your priorities are things that love you back, you’ll probably be better off with a dog.

    • buttfucker 420 7:15 pm on October 25, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just smoke weed and immediately fuck people up da butt upon meeting them then you’ll have all da dating partners you want

    • but 12:51 am on October 27, 2014 | Reply

      You can’t help being poor.

  • PFML is Yik Yak’s evil twin.
    FOL

    +5/-2   

    11:52 pm on October 21, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Dissed 6:43 pm on October 22, 2014 | Reply

      WTF? Not only were we featured less than a day today of all days, but also we are no longer on the list of peekable colleges!! FOL

  • They removed the comfy couches from the far end of McGraw and replaced them with metal chairs. FML

    +4/-0   

    2:33 pm on October 21, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 6:55 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just smoke weed and fuck the workers up their butts and they’ll return the couches in no time

      • okay fine 12:01 am on October 22, 2014 | Reply

        I laughed at this one. You win.

      • Myrddraal 4:31 am on October 22, 2014 | Reply

        Okay, this character has reached rock bottom. Buttfucker 420 is now advocating rape as revenge for such a petty problem. This misogynistic, disgusting creature needs to go.

        • buttfucker 420 3:10 pm on October 22, 2014 | Reply

          first off, it’s buttfucker 420 not Buttfucker 420.
          secondly, can you buttfucking read? I meant buttfucking as a nice bribe for them. I guess you’re just too uncool to understand the love and joy of smoking weed and buttfucking with us. Muah your an asshole.

          • Myrddraal 9:37 pm on October 22, 2014 | Reply

            Let’s trace the steps in this post:
            1) Attack for something pedantic and inconsequential to distract from my points
            2) Questioning of reading comprehension skills
            3) Backtracking attempt to change meaning of original post after the fact
            4) Random condescension intended to elicit feelings of exclusion or inferiority
            5) Irrelevant ad hominem attack with appeal to meme-obsessed audiences

            You’ve followed the bigot’s formula to the letter. Aren’t you proud?

            • buttfucker 420 5:19 pm on October 23, 2014

              yoyo as the original buttfucker id like to clarify some things

              the buttfucker 420 movement is all about CONSENSUAL buttfucking and 420weeding

              all about world peace brooooooooooooo

              i dont believe that the buttfucker 420 comment above was in any way advocating for rape. in any event, if it was, you should know, yoyo, that our movement as a whole does not support such comments

              stay weedchill

            • bigot != troll 10:01 pm on October 23, 2014

              bf420′s leaning a lot stronger to the latter.

            • Myrddraal 12:36 pm on October 24, 2014

              Again, buttfucker 420 is trying to misdirect with some drivel about world peace and continuing backtrack to change what he originally said. Furthermore, he is trying to claim his single-handed posting of the same thing over and over is a “movement.” Pathetic.

            • not buttfucker 420 5:08 pm on October 24, 2014

              seriously dude are you here just looking to flame or what
              either that or you haven’t been on pfml since summer
              bf420′s usual shtick, which has been repeated in countless other posts involving people from all walks of life, is ‘yoyo smoke weed and fuck ___ up da butt” as a bribe to achieve some goal.
              FYDumbL.

            • Myrddraal (out of character) 6:03 pm on October 24, 2014

              @not buttfucker 420

              “are you here just looking to flame”

              Check the name, bud. It’s kinda what I do. YHBMyrddraaled

          • Myrddraal 420 5:30 pm on October 23, 2014 | Reply

            yoyo let’s just smoke weed together and pretend this never happened. life is too short to spend it squabbling and not fucking butts. world peace 5ever broooooo.

            • Illianer 4:09 pm on October 25, 2014

              A Myrddraal asking for world peace do be rich.

        • Chill 8:31 pm on October 24, 2014 | Reply

          out. you are clearly a butthurt, pc, uptight chick.

    • Woody Woobie 8:40 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

      shit those chairs are almost as hard as my major #cantholdmeback

  • It sucks to be a gay person at this school. FML

    +18/-10   

    2:32 pm on October 21, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • True 4:48 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

      That

    • buttfucker 420 12:04 am on October 22, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo what are you talking about bro da buttfucking life is outta dis world.

    • tips for you 10:22 am on October 22, 2014 | Reply

      1. get a dating app (grindr, scruff, okcupid, tinder, etc. etc.)
      2. find randos in Princeton / Central NJ area
      3. ????
      4. Profit!

    • Would you say it 11:26 pm on October 23, 2014 | Reply

      sucks…cock?

    • gay '16 2:27 am on October 28, 2014 | Reply

      Gay dude here long overdue for a fuck buddy. Hit me up and we’ll talk: pfmlmeet@gmail.com.

  • Sprained my ankle while writing a paper in JStreet. Princeton is dangerous. FML

    +3/-1   

    1:11 pm on October 20, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • life is dangerous 3:21 pm on October 20, 2014 | Reply

      period

      • Jokes about women are not funny 6:19 pm on October 20, 2014 | Reply

        period

  • Q. What do you call a bomber jet piloted by a Liberian homosexual?

    A. The Ebola Gay

    FOLs

    +22/-8   

    1:09 pm on October 20, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Fun Fact's Safety Tips 5:03 pm on October 20, 2014 | Reply

      #6: Stay clear of nuclear blasts.

    • buttfucker 420 11:33 pm on October 20, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo you’re a homophobe smoke weed and chill with the bigotry bro.

  • People in Spelman calling Psafe on a birthday party. You are the cancer that is killing Princeton. FYLs

    +16/-8   

    2:58 pm on October 18, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Fratty McNatty 3:54 pm on October 18, 2014 | Reply

      Yeah dude. This is why dorm parties are a bro-no; they’ll call Psafe just for our Tuesday night power hours! Party elsewhere like at the bro house. There you can run up and down the hall in your broday suit yelling like there’s bro tomorrow without anyone getting their broshorts in a bunch.

    • Fun Fact's Safety Tips 4:11 pm on October 18, 2014 | Reply

      #5: Never tamper with, disable, or destroy your smoke detector. Not even if you plan to cook with olive oil or dish soap.

      • GS Alum 11:06 pm on October 19, 2014 | Reply

        For your information, I microwaved dish soap once. Ever wonder what the real reason was they replaced Hibben/Magie? You’re an asshole.

    • meth major 8:19 pm on October 18, 2014 | Reply

      clearly they haven’t ditched their math major for a sweet lifelong career in the meth industry

    • buttfucker 420 12:17 am on October 19, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just smoke weed it’s been proven to cure cancer.

    • Probably 8:24 am on October 19, 2014 | Reply

      family of the guy who complained about burning the John Harvard effigy at the bonfire?

    • Or maybe 9:52 pm on October 19, 2014 | Reply

      you guys are just a bunch of loud obnoxious assholes.

    • Experience 11:20 am on October 20, 2014 | Reply

      pre-register your party with ODUS. PSAFE won’t touch it.

      • Sup 3:19 pm on October 27, 2014 | Reply

        welski!

    • hm 5:28 pm on October 20, 2014 | Reply

      yeah you clearly have no respect for people who don’t want to be disturbed

      • uh 12:09 am on October 21, 2014 | Reply

        go to a fucking library. they’re open late for a reason

        • Anon 5:00 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

          what if people just want to sleep, not study…..?

          • ear 11:58 am on October 24, 2014 | Reply

            plugs

            • easy answer 1:35 pm on October 25, 2014

              threesome!

        • hm 5:40 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

          what if they just had a really bad day and would like to stay in peace in their own space? The fact that OP was encroaching on their rights ==> that his/her neighbors are the ones that have to move???

    • College Road Faculty 1:55 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

      It was me. You guys are really fucking loud. I’ve been wanting to do this for years and finally did it.

      • 15 5:41 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

        your grudge is misguided as different ppl live there each year

        • College Road Faculty 4:22 pm on October 22, 2014 | Reply

          Actually, no. It’s pretty much the same people. Different names, faces, clothes, ’14′ ’15, ’16 ’17 ,but absolutely the same “ppl”

          • The Dilettante 10:31 pm on October 23, 2014 | Reply

            I’m afraid your wit is going to be lost upon poor ’15. Princeton people are blissfully unaware of how interchangeable they are.

            • JMC 11:57 am on October 24, 2014

              calm down

            • 15 12:15 pm on October 25, 2014

              *shrug* college parties are all the same, just pointing out that you will not be able to punish the individuals who have been annoying you FOR YEARS

  • princeton’s music department will never improve until pratt dies. FOLs

    +11/-9   

    9:37 am on October 18, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Honestly 7:34 pm on October 18, 2014 | Reply

      The way the orchestra’s been playing, that might well be in the cards.

    • buttfucker 420 8:16 pm on October 18, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just don’t sign up for his class n switch to major in da buttfucking department with a certificate in 420weed smoking.

    • Inappropriate 8:31 pm on October 18, 2014 | Reply

      This should not have been published.

      • Seriously? 10:14 am on October 19, 2014 | Reply

        Of all the things that get posted on this site, THIS is where you draw the line?

      • '13 12:17 am on October 20, 2014 | Reply

        He really does suck though

    • Context? 11:53 pm on October 20, 2014 | Reply

      ?

      • F'18 9:32 pm on October 21, 2014 | Reply

        ?

  • Wish I had gone to school in a big city. Maybe the social life would be less toxic there. Might transfer to Columbia or UChicago. FOLs

    +12/-1   

    5:01 pm on October 17, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Fun Fact's Safety Tips 5:25 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

      #4: Only store nude selfies in clouds you trust. If you trust cumulonimbus clouds, you’re doing it wrong.

    • '15 5:58 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

      felt the same way for the first couple of years here. it gets better, and you’ll find your friends here, just stick it out.

      • '16 10:08 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

        absolutely true

        join terrace!

        • Terran '15 9:24 pm on October 18, 2014 | Reply

          Terrace is definitely not for everyone.

          IMO, least toxic club is Quad.

          • Why 10:50 am on October 20, 2014 | Reply

            What’s wrong with Terrace?

      • '14 10:13 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

        Yeah, me too. First couple of years sucked. After turning in my thesis though, those last few weeks were okay, I guess.

        • Not sure if serious 9:18 am on October 18, 2014 | Reply

          Only the last few weeks?… Like what is the point even.

          • the joke 10:57 pm on October 19, 2014 | Reply

            you missed it

    • Fratty McNatty 12:20 am on October 18, 2014 | Reply

      Many of my high school bros are at Broston College. Every time I bro visit them, it’s absolutely fabrolous.

    • AY 11:06 am on October 19, 2014 | Reply

      Don’t know about Columbia but Uchicago sucks! They actually promote the whole “where fun goes to die” thing

  • Never gotten above a 9/10 on anything, even homework here. Sophomore. I try hard but often there is no help accessible. Now I really gotta suck it up and try EVERYTHING. FML.

    +0/-6   

    12:23 pm on October 16, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 1:35 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just fuck da TA up da butt and you’ll get 420/10 on everything problem solved yoyo.

      • OP 12:27 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

        For your information, I tried that. I then had to bribe him not to press charges, and I still got 1 9/10. You’re an asshole.

    • Fun Fact's Safety Tips 2:39 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

      #3: Never EVER binge-drink. A higher BAC increases risk of bursting into flame.

    • 15 5:08 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

      its ok to never get 100%! assignments here are designed to stretch your knowledge and abilities, not recapitulate things that you know for sure. 90% is really excellent by that metric! try everything to improve for the sake of learning, but don’t stress about never getting it all right

    • '17 9:44 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

      forming a study group for psets is the best

      • OP 12:26 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

        I already do…

        • study group 1:49 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

          with only legacies/minorities/athletes?

          • OP 9:50 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

            no, with buttfuckers and weedsmokers duh.

    • wut 7:39 am on October 17, 2014 | Reply

      legacy/minority/athlete?

    • Math 14 8:37 pm on October 17, 2014 | Reply

      wow how are you so stupid

  • Where’s dat buttfucking culture tho? FMyNotButtfuckingLife

    +0/-4   

    12:19 pm on October 16, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Pi Phi 1:39 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

      OH MY GAWD TRUSST ME YUO DO’TN WANNT TO GO DOWWN THAT ROADD MY DADDY FCUKED ME UP DA BUTT WHEN I WAS IFVE AND EVRE SINEC THNE I’VE HAD THE CONTSANT DESIERE TO HVAE A COCKK IN MY ANUS ITS VREY UNCOMRFOTABLE NAD DGERADING DONT DO IT MUAH YOUR NOT A DOL

      • ok... 10:09 am on October 17, 2014 | Reply

        This is too far.

  • After reading Graziano’s opinion piece in the NYT, I’m pretty confident that my substandard BS will suffice for passing his class. MLIG

    +2/-2   

    7:23 pm on October 14, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • 15 9:05 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      good luck applying your BS opinion to multiple choice exams i guess?

    • Fun Fact's Safety Tips 10:00 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      #2: Sticking pens in an electrical socket is a bad idea 95% of the time.

      • Econ 101 11:36 pm on October 15, 2014 | Reply

        Value of bad outcome = -10
        Value of excellent outcome (5% of the time) = 1000
        Expected value = -10*0.95+1000*0.05 = 40.5

        Conclusion: unless you’re a risk-averse pussy to the extreme, you should stick a pen in an electrical socket.

        • Why 12:50 am on October 16, 2014 | Reply

          1000?

        • '15 2:32 am on October 16, 2014 | Reply

          How the hell is electrocution worth only -10? And what happens during the other 5% that’s 100x greater than not dying?

          …will sticking pens in an outlet make my penis bigger?

          • BRB 12:33 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

            Going to stick penis in electrical outlets.

          • Yes 7:20 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

            .

          • Internet Doctor 8:18 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

            Yes. Yes it will.

  • YikYak has become a much better alternative to PFML. OLAG.

    +13/-0   

    3:47 pm on October 14, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • What 4:53 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      Is yikyak??

      • learn 9:59 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

        to use google

      • '15 2:48 pm on October 15, 2014 | Reply

        It’s like Lolcats or Doge, except instead of cats or dogs, it’s yaks.

        Check it out, it’s actually pretty awesome.

    • Dumb-phone user 6:07 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      :(

      • landline user 12:50 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

        how would you feel about a suicide pact?

    • Agree 8:13 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      Real Time, no mods screening

  • I don’t fuck with these basic hoes anymore. FYL

    +2/-1   

    3:46 pm on October 14, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Real life thug 8:23 pm on October 15, 2014 | Reply

      I think you can upgrade your hoe in town for 1200 gold. That’s like 12 turnips or 5 eggs.

  • EEB 309 is probably making me stupider… FOLs

    +4/-0   

    12:10 pm on October 14, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 11:54 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo drop it and take POT420 where you get to smoke all da weed you want and fuck da professor up da butt and you’ll be smart in no time

    • your classmate 9:56 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

      explain? can’t quite put my finger on why it’s so mind-numbing

      • 15 11:39 am on October 17, 2014 | Reply

        i can’t explain anything about that class.. the droning of her voice + trying to comprehend her aggressively stupid graphs and chit are actively killing my brain cells

  • People joking/complaining/etc about Ebola: please just stop. It’s really not a risk to you and if you’re genuinely worried educate yourself. It is a HUGE risk to many other people. This means IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU and it’s so ugly to joke around as if it is. FYLs

    +7/-6   

    12:04 pm on October 14, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Ted Cruz '420 12:45 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just admit that Obama wants America to be infected with Ebola as payback for slavery and go smoke weed at a minor Ivy like Columbia, where he attended.

    • No 2:55 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      u

    • Fact 3:31 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      Are you aware the Dr. Nancy Snyderman if NBC news lives in Princeton? She and her crew were supposed to be in quarantine due to exposure from working with a cameraman in Africa that actually has ebola. Yet she was seen in her Mercedes outside of Princeton restaurant violating the quarantine which the CDC has subsequently made mandatory. Surely the risk to Princeton residents is very very minute, however the risk is real now due to global international travel.

    • Jerry 3:38 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      Just trying to cash in before ebola gets on par with AIDS. By the way, I’ve got some great AIDS jokes in inventory.

    • buttfucker 420 10:18 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo word bro now that Dr. Nancy Spiderman has introduced the Ebola risk to Princeton I can’t fuck butt anymore. she should have her medical license revoked for doing something so inconsiderate and irresponsible.

    • Ted Kaczenski 11:03 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      I rarely use the internet. I’ve never owned a smart phone. I still type my papers on a typewriter I picked up at Goodwill.

      So, yes, I am not afraid to admit that I am burdened from time to time with a temporary case of regular bola, but it passes.

      E-bola? Well, I’ll leave you guys to wallow in the mess you’ve created. Don’t say I haven’t been warning you guys for years.

    • yo 1:49 am on October 15, 2014 | Reply

      shut the fuck up

      no one has a monopoly on being concerned about ebola.

      seriously

      • 15 8:31 am on October 15, 2014 | Reply

        if you are really concerned, educate yourself on protective measures to ease your mind, worry about the people who are actually suffering (consider donating!), then refrain from making jokes based on a total lack of perspective. so many people are dying and living in ongoing terror, it’s not a little blip of a news story to make jokes about when you see the headline, i just wish people would realize this and have some respect.

        of course people are free to be ignorant and tasteless, but others are then free to call them out!

    • Literally 12:22 am on October 16, 2014 | Reply

      Cancer

  • We all know where to connect with the hookup culture if that’s your thang, but where are guys who want to ” date”? To be in a relationship? Freshman looking for love. FMSL

    +3/-0   

    12:03 pm on October 14, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • RNLK 3:12 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      They’re all around. Just ask the cute guy in precept if he wants to go on an ice cream or coffee date sometime. Or maybe the one in the club you’ve been going to every once in a while. Most people aren’t against having relationships and dates, but many of them are just as nervous as you are to try.

      • not everyone 6:30 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

        hooks up, and i bet many of the guys who don’t would be into that!

  • Princeton is full of terrible people. From the ugly internet trolls with perverted fantasies to blackout fratstars with little intellectual motivation. This is what purgatory looks like and I find it hilarious. FOLs.

    +13/-14   

    9:33 pm on October 12, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • GS 9:42 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

      You could say that about my undergraduate state school too. Or at least with heavier emphasis on the fratstars.

      • Fun Fact's Safety Tips 3:32 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

        #1: Prior to shaking your sriracha well before using, make sure it is closed, lest it end up in your eye.

    • Fratty McNatty 9:44 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

      Bro, just bro out a little. Bro to a club and get brokeout drunk for the first time, and then you’ll see. If you can’t beat them, bro them.

    • you didn't mention 10:48 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

      the worst of it. those stereotypes would be fine if it weren’t for the surrounding community of idiotic fucktards.

    • I really don't understand 11:02 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

      Three questions:

      1) How the fuck do all the idiotic fratstars even get in? This school rejects 85% of Valedictorians and 85% of people with 2300+ on their SATs. Yet we wind up with all these morons… How? It’s always bothered me.

      2) Why the hell are there so many fratstars here when Greek life isn’t even big? They don’t even live in their houses! Is it the eating clubs that are responsible?

      3) Is it here specifically or is it like this everywhere?

      • Let's get real 12:33 am on October 13, 2014 | Reply

        There are too many nerds here. And they r studying a ridiculous amount of hours making academics unnecessarily ridiculously intense for those of us would like to have some modicum of a social life while still graduating.

        • '16 4:48 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

          Think you came to the wrong school for that

        • Captain Hindsight 5:09 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

          If you wanted to have a chill college experience, you shouldn’t have gone to a university known for its academic rigor

        • Too many nerds 2:26 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

          I agree with this guy. It’s not healthy to be constantly stressed out over an intense academic culture. I hate how every time I favor my extracurriculars or social life, suddenly my academics have to take a hit. I came to Princeton for a high quality college experience, not just a degree.

        • So true 1:42 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

          So many weirdos at this school. It’s usually a nonissue because they quickly join the hidden population, but coming on here and complaining about the minuscule portion of this school that is actually fun/normal is laughable. Original poster seriously needs to get a life, or preferably, GTFO.

          • 15 9:07 pm on October 14, 2014 | Reply

            hidden population?

            • Yeah 11:00 pm on October 14, 2014

              All the freaks at this school who never go out and sit around studying incessantly, never meeting anyone or taking advantage of the fact that Princeton actually has interesting people to socialize with. The type of person who bemoans others for an apparent lack of intellectual curiosity without realizing that no matter how many books they read they’re too inept to hold a conversation with another person outside of a precept discussion.

            • No 3:29 pm on October 21, 2014

              Literally, go fuck yourself ^

      • who says 7:46 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

        frat stars cant have 2300+ on their SATs? Or be their HS valedictorians?

        Seems to me that you just have a vendetta against people who enjoy some semblance of a social life and don’t lock themselves in a library all day

      • '15 8:30 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

        A lot of the frat stars here are intellectually quite gifted from a GPA / test score stand point, they just don’t necessarily use those gifts (or if they do, they do a good job of hiding it).

        • Wait, seriously though? 11:19 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

          I don’t understand how you can be smart and yet like a complete douchebag, drink until you blackout, hookup with random strangers, etc.

          Like… So people can seriously understand complex concepts about inequality, etc. and still be fratstars? I don’t get it.

          • either 12:15 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

            you’re a very good troll or a really pathetic person.
            “So people can seriously understand complex concepts about inequality, etc. and still be fratstars?”
            really? is this right out of a meme?

            ok. so smart =”seriously understand complex concepts about inequality, etc”.
            your assumption about the character of fratstars is disparaging.
            and your jump of argument from “smart” to “understanding about inequality” makes no logical sense.

          • Naive 12:18 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

            Seriously, people need to understand this. The president of the National Engineering Society is in one of the frattier frats, and he’s incredibly smart. Just because you don’t know how to have fun and still do well in school, doesn’t meant that no one else does.

          • lol@u 2:32 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

            LOL. This shit is too funny. I happened to meet a buff, 6 foot tall blonde dude who was a CS major interning at LinkedIn this summer. He was one of the smartest and yet party-hardest people I knew. There’s no reason to think that being sociable (sometimes to the point of risky behavior) is somehow mutually exclusive with being intelligent. If you’d read any modern literature at all, you would have known that intellectualism and YOLO-carpe-diem lifestyles are completely compatible.

            I really dislike how nerds always have to make it an “us and them” thing when it’s really a continuous spectrum. The only way to really get to know it is to see it yourself. I’m assuming you’re from a small-town public school where all the loud, wild degenerates ended up going to prison or flipping burgers. Well, all I have to say is that I’ve met way intellectually interesting fratstars in my experiences than cookie-cutter nerds.

          • you sound silly 10:31 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

            by “understand complex concepts about inequality” i’m assuming you’re referring to sociological ideas about how the world works? such an informed person should have some grasp on the fact that people do things for many reasons. if you think a complex view of the world is totally incompatible with things like casually drinking and hooking up, then it might be you that has a limited view (signed, someone who drinks, hooks up, then goes back to my room to study about things i care about all day!)

            • Eh 12:35 pm on October 14, 2014

              At my high school, all the “fratstars” were complete imbeciles who all wound up in community college. I see where he’s coming from. I think it’s just different in college for some reason which I can’t explain.

            • @Eh 11:30 pm on October 15, 2014

              The difference is largely that the ones here are the fratstars who were smart and hard-working enough to get into Princeton.

      • Truth 12:00 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

        Princeton wants graduates who will be successful. There’s a reason why Varsity athletes here end up making a bit more money than the average Princeton Grad. They have cultivated leadership skills, confidence, charisma, superior physicality and the ability to skate by taking easy SOC classes and becoming the CEO of a startup run on the backs of EE grads. Smart comes in all sizes…yes that even includes the idiot fratstar who got a 2400 by setting up an elaborate multi school cheating ring.

        • Bordekka 2:39 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

          Not the same, real and true. True you feel inside. Always follow what is true.

        • really 8:53 am on October 16, 2014 | Reply

          “There’s a reason why Varsity athletes here end up making a bit more money than the average Princeton Grad.”

          sources to back it up?
          lol

          • correlation / causation 10:41 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

            Yeah. They tend to come from wealthier families/backgrounds, and children of rich families tend to earn more money later on in life.

        • truth 6:48 pm on October 16, 2014 | Reply

          setting up a successful detection-proof cheating ring is probably harder than getting 2400 on SAT

  • Fuck, got an A- on my R1 and my parents are so disappointed. FML

    +0/-40   

    10:54 am on October 12, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • wut 4:17 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

      R1?

      • '14 10:09 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

        oh my god wait is that the first revision writing sem paper? I think I remember my prof calling it that.

        this post is ultimate jokes

    • TC '420 4:43 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just admit that affirmative action is morally wrong and go 420smoke some fuckbutts at a lesser ivy.

    • '17 7:25 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

      so… don’t tell your parents next time?

      • Plot twist 12:49 am on October 13, 2014 | Reply

        The professor is his dad.

        • Borat 3:18 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

          my sister a most weedchill prostitute in da country she fuck me up da butt. Highfive!

    • '15 2:23 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

      If you got an A- on R1 you’ll probably get an A overall, they purposely deflate the first grade so you work harder on the next ones.

  • Reinhardt reads FML?

    +0/-0   

    8:37 pm on October 11, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Athos 8:39 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      Out of modly curiosity, what makes you say so?

      • CV 8:50 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

        Title of new paper: “Common Misery: the Role of FML Forums in Exacerbating Status Anxiety Among Privileged Undergraduates”

      • ECO 100 Graduate 9:08 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

        Of course! Who else could be bf420?

        • Athos 1:38 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

          Nah, we already have some insider info on who the original one was, and it wasn’t Reinhardt.

          • EC '16 4:50 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

            protoss

          • Fun Fact 8:07 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

            Athos works at OIT and checks who is registered to the IPs of the regular posters. At least the ones on Princeton IPs.

            • Hobbes 11:59 pm on October 12, 2014

              It’s actually easier to get a sense of likely candidates when people are on break, posting from non-Princeton IPs

            • The Dilettante 6:47 pm on October 27, 2014

              @Hobbes: Doesn’t always work, though. For instance one time I posted from home while I happened to be on the Princeton VPN, and somebody asked you to trace my IP address because “The Dilettante clearly can’t be a Princeton student” or somesuch nonsense. You reported that the IP address indicated the post was being made from Princeton and thus was therefore probably a student — which, though the conclusion was of course true, was technically incorrect. Anybody using a VPN or proxy can evade that method. Not that I’m sure why someone would want to.

    • buttfucker 420 10:27 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo you bet bro it’s me

  • Is a family lawyer a pre-req for the tech entrepreneurship class? Why am I reading Herbert Simon when I have no idea how to register a company? FML

    +1/-3   

    4:59 pm on October 11, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Woody Woobie 8:09 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      Maybe you don’t deserve to be my major. FMNonselectiveMajorLife

    • buttfucker 420 10:28 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo is weedsmoking a requirement for da buttfucking class?

    • meth major 4:07 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo all I know is that mat215 is a prereq for a meth dealing major

  • Whenever I read an ebola headline, I think about the world-class care offered at McCosh and resign myself to the fact that OLAF

    +1/-6   

    11:39 pm on October 10, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 12:07 am on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just smoke weed and fuck butt 24/7 and all you’ll have to worry about catching is HIV problem solved broooo.

    • E-Prime 12:11 am on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      In days past, we wrote FML, FOL, FYL, or whatever. Then, we started using forms of the “be” verb, and adjectives, MLIA, MLIG. Now we feel comfortable using passive tense. What is this? OLAF? Why do you emasculate your language? Take some responsibility. Use a fucking active fucking verb!

    • bunflubber 360 1:53 am on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just exhume your wellies and continue to go about your daily activities unhindered by the largely imaginary threat of Ebola. While a daunting disease, it can only be caught through direct contact with the bodily fluids of an infected person, something you as a Princeton student are highly unlikely to encounter. And revel, yoyo, in the excellent care of McCosh, care which billions of people around the globe would kill for but which G-d has chosen to bless you with instead. ‘n flub some buns, yo.

      • just curious 12:27 am on October 14, 2014 | Reply

        Why did you decide to write G-d instead of God? This is something I’ve seen in another comment too, so it’s likely the same person or at least the same reason.

        • 15 8:37 pm on October 15, 2014 | Reply

          some people do it to show respect instead of taking the name of god (mainly jews i think)

    • meng patient 7:58 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      McCosh helped save my life. you’re an asshole

      • OP 8:53 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

        I like to think of myself as *the* asshole, thank you very much.

      • Kimba the White Lion 11:11 pm on October 13, 2014 | Reply

        McCosh has been nothing but great for whenever my friends or I have gotten sick. Also, they don’t laugh at you for showing up in tiger suit at 1am when you have the chills and already sent all your warm clothes home.

    • TC '420 10:26 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just put some nukes at the border and there won’t be any ebola-laden illegals to infect you with ebola through their tainted mexican weed. trust me, definitely not worth the hemorrhaging. doctor says I can’t fuck butts for another month.

      • SP'420 12:30 pm on October 12, 2014 | Reply

        OHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDDD IFFFF YOUUUU SOMEKKKE W33D AND GET UFCKED UP DA BUT CASAULLLYYYY THEN NO PRINNNCETONNIAN WOULD WANNTT TOO MARRRY YOUUUU MUAH YOYO UR NOT A DOL

  • What happened to Boredatfirestone?! OLAFucked

    +1/-1   

    10:02 pm on October 9, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Fratty McNatty 1:30 am on October 10, 2014 | Reply

      If you can’t land a slampiece, just go to the house for a bro job.

    • Boredatfirestone 9:33 am on October 10, 2014 | Reply

      your mom.

    • bunflubber 360 5:14 pm on October 10, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo nobody should ever be bored at Firestone, for its stacks contain all of the answers to life’s questions, written down in book form for you to behold. To be bored in such a place of enlightenment and glory is a waste of resources and a waste of life. Just exhume your wellies and read that book you’ve been meaning to read, write that paper you’ve been meaning to write, answer the puzzles you’ve been seeking to answer. And revel, yoyo, in the bountiful, bootyful erudition which lies before you. ‘n flub some buns, yo.

    • rather 10:05 pm on October 10, 2014 | Reply

      YLINotF. Because let’s be honest- that’s probably why you went there in the first place

    • Kevin 10:23 pm on October 10, 2014 | Reply

      If there were ever a pressing challenge for the world…

    • wut 8:21 am on October 11, 2014 | Reply

      Borat at Firestone?

      • Borat 3:03 pm on October 11, 2014 | Reply

        Sexytime highfive wowowewa!

  • One day I will calmly put down a pset, return all my books to Firestone, empty perishables out of the fridge, stretch, and move to a yurt community in Kazakhstan. MLIElsewhere

    +27/-0   

    5:58 pm on October 9, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Fratty McNatty 7:44 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

      You don’t have to go, you can just bro!

    • buttfucker 420 8:47 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just chillax and re-evaluate your life. you have all da weed you could ever smoke and all da butts you could ever fuck right here in new jersey. why would you eva wanna go anywhere else?

    • Borat 8:54 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

      My name a Borat. I like you, I like sex, is nice!

      • Old NassHole 1:48 am on October 10, 2014 | Reply

        wawaweewa bro!

    • bunflubber 360 12:54 am on October 10, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo just exhume your wellies and push through all the difficulties in your life. Life may seem difficult at times, but recognize that as a Princeton student, you have it better than literally 99.9% of the world. Just do your best and don’t be afraid to seek out help when you need it. And revel, yoyo, in the bountiful, bootyful opportunities G-d has blessed you with. ‘n flub some buns, yo.

    • '15 10:18 pm on October 10, 2014 | Reply

      If Thoreau were a Princetonian in the age of air travel…

  • Thought I lost my bike keys. Founds them a day later in the lock of my bike. MLIG

    +4/-1   

    5:26 pm on October 7, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Fratty McNatty 6:52 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

      Sick. Now you don’t have to bro over to the bro house and hope a bro has a car to take you to Trader Bro’s and Bro Canal’s for some bro-bro juice.

      • Brogdor the Burninator 4:29 pm on October 8, 2014 | Reply

        I’m can’t wait to start using the term Bro Canal’s. Thanks, bro.

    • buttfucker 420 10:16 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

      420 swag yolo

    • Jerry 11:38 am on October 8, 2014 | Reply

      As someone who’s had his lock cut twice now, it’s heartening to know that there’s still good in the world.

      • yo 2:37 pm on October 8, 2014 | Reply

        thanks for letting us know Jerry!

      • Jerry Seinfeld 4:43 pm on October 8, 2014 | Reply

        What’s the deal with bike locks? Why is it called a “lock” if it doesn’t actually lock your bike? They should call it “something you have to cut before you steal the bike”.

        • PLEASE 1:41 am on October 9, 2014 | Reply

          BECOME A REGULAR CHARACTER.

          • Pi Phi 1:51 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

            OHHHH MYMYYYY GODDDD ALLL CAPPPS ISIS MYYY THIINGG STTAYYA WAYY ANDNDDD WHYY ODO YOUU WANTTT DDAD COMODY ANNYYYWAYYY ITTS ALLMOSST ASS BAD ASAS DADDAD ROCCKK SHOWWING UPPPP ON MYY iPODDD LLAST MNOTH MUAH YOUR NOT A DOL

  • I know I shouldn’t have … but I went through his texts. He’s been less than faithful. And I don’t know how to bring it up, because I shouldn’t have. FML

    +20/-1   

    4:57 pm on October 7, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • quandry 5:16 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

      Which is morally worse/worse for relationship…mistrust and ~invasion of privacy vs. infidelity? :( sad choice one has to make

      • uh 8:06 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

        infidelity.

      • Anon 12:17 am on October 10, 2014 | Reply

        Given the mistrust turned out to be warranted, I’d say infidelity is worse…

    • L'Sleutteax 7:41 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

      Did you make sure it wasn’t just a cultural difference? That’s what happened with me and the fool Lord Roissy.

    • wtf 8:17 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

      were you expecting? fidelity doesn’t exist on the princeton campus.

      • this is dumb 10:45 am on October 8, 2014 | Reply

        i don’t care for monogamous relationships myself, but most people who want to be in a relationship definitely DO

    • F18 11:00 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

      You had a reason to trust ur gut and be suspicious. Perhaps what set that niggling doubt is a kernel of where you can start the discussion? But unless you were not exclusive, dump this chump. Tigers don’t change their stripes. You can — and WILL — do better. You deserve what you want — and give/bring — in a relationship. Just make the parameyers clear to the other and hd to your standards. Good luck.

    • '14 11:45 pm on October 7, 2014 | Reply

      wow, I did this exact thing a couple of years ago! I was honest about it and brought it up. there were tears. it took a while to build ourselves back up. we’re still together.
      IMO, if you want the relationship to last, you need to address both problems: his infidelity, your lack of trust. (hmm, the latter sounds like it could be caused by the former — imagine that.) so you might as well address it. don’t focus on which is morally worse. focus on tackling the issues and moving on (either separately or together. that’s a call both of you have to make). and good luck. I’m sorry, it’s a sucky situation.

    • Luis Suarez 8:14 am on October 8, 2014 | Reply

      That’s why I bite people!

    • Concerned onlooker 11:32 am on October 8, 2014 | Reply

      Tell him that you wrote a book in which he and this girl are secondary characters, you traveled back in time and met Hemingway and he arrived, by abduction, at the conclusion that they were having an affair. It worked for Gil Pender.

    • You are in an abusive relationship 12:25 pm on October 8, 2014 | Reply

      Get the fuck out immediately. Do you have kids and a mortgage? If no, then just pack your figurative shit and move on it’s not worth even worrying about how to explain things. That’s for him to guess.

      • wut 3:39 pm on October 8, 2014 | Reply

        how is being unfaithful and being abusive the same thing?

        • wordplayer 9:00 pm on October 8, 2014 | Reply

          abuse of trust etc

          • wut 4:08 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

            something being a bit of a stretch etc

        • OC 1:59 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

          If you feel guilty for correctly suspecting infidelity then there is an obvious asymmetry in the relationship. This asymmetry arises 99 times out of 100 as a result of emotional manipulation aka abuse. In a relationship when one partner does not have a clear upper hand you could say “hey I noticed you’re cheating. Was this your expectation for our relationship? It wasn’t mine. ” Clearly OP does not feel this freedom.

      • let's not 12:18 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

        trivialize “abuse” in this way! if “abuse of trust” is a thing then you’re also doing it by snooping on him, which is obviously silly, so let’s just not call it abuse!

    • Let's get real 8:16 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

      A relationship starts with 100% trust. Post infidelity it is something less than 100%. It will never be 100% again. Trust is broken. Complete trust is lost. Doubt that’s salvageable, sorry.

    • Anonymous 10:43 pm on October 9, 2014 | Reply

      Doesn’t matter. You’ve both violated each other’s trust and each other. It’s not going to work out anyway (well it’s not very likely). The only way it could work out is if you confront him and disclose everything. Neither of you is going to get off easy in this–especially him. If your relationship is meant to be salvaged then it will be. Otherwise what does it matter that you spied on him or that he cheated on you if you guys were going to break up ultimately

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