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  • Somebody told me that Kendrick Lamar was going to do a show at Princeton. Then Chance the Rapper goes on tour to Duke and not here. No rap shows=FML

    +3/-3   

    3:49 pm on August 19, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
  • I have some serious judgment for people who smoke, people who drink too much. And for people who ”need” coffee in the morning–weak. And yet now I can’t stop eating jicama, and my jicama is all I can think about. FMHypocrisy. FMAddiction.

    +1/-5   

    3:49 pm on August 19, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
  • I’m a girl and I have short legs. FML

    +0/-2   

    5:24 pm on August 17, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 8:07 pm on August 17, 2014 | Reply

      420 yolo swag

    • 5' 10" 10:42 pm on August 17, 2014 | Reply

      Mine are a mile long, but heads up guys, there’s a height minimum to ride this ride.

      • '14 10:39 am on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        ahhh yeahhhhhhh

        • 5' 10" 4:26 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

          Look for me frosh week;)

      • give 11:33 am on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        us short guys a chance. you’ll be surprised what kind of skills you develop over a lifetime of working harder.

        • 4'10" 2:13 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

          We really out here

          • hobbit? 7:43 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

            hobbit

    • F'18 12:34 am on August 18, 2014 | Reply

      ?

      • F'18 10:39 am on August 19, 2014 | Reply

        !

    • '15 12:00 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

      I’m going to go ahead and say it – I like short, roundish girls. In high school there was one in the class ahead who was interested in me. As in, like, aggressively. We worked out an agreement where I would come to her house for “tutoring” (to throw off parents) and we’d fuck. As a bonus, I’d collect a “tutoring fee” to keep up the charade.

      The powers that be discovered and put a stop to the scheme when I got gonorrhea after three months, but she was amazing. I’ve slept with several people since, and none of them have fucked as well as her.

      So yeah, that’s why I’m in to short, fat girls. As a side note, always use protection – it could have been worse than gonorrhea.

      • Mtchewww 2:09 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        Look at this edjiot galivanting around like a pregnant goat. Tufiakwa. Oya, shift before I jos slahhp you.

        • dying 8:47 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

          yourethebest.

      • Sure 2:23 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        I believe about half of that, and the other half is what you fantasize about doing if you could go back in time.

        Which is no shame, except for the rawdogging.

      • brozo 2:37 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        Do you even sex bro?

      • Prof 3:44 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        ?

      • buttfucker 420 6:11 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        yoyo did you at least get to fuck her up the butt?

        • '15 5:29 am on August 19, 2014 | Reply

          For your information, a few times. In her asshole.

      • Myrddraal 11:03 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

        We’re scoffing, but being from the South I could see this happening. Religiously tyrannical helicopter parents, abstinence-only sex education leaving ’15 clueless about condoms, eating habits that encourage roundness, can you see how this might come about? I mean, just look up how many “virgin” births happen there every year and try to claim the kids’ sexual environment isn’t a complete clusterfuck.

      • Master Limerick: "Fucking Fat Sue" 2:25 am on August 19, 2014 | Reply

        He pounded Fat Sue like a trooper
        til they fell into post-coital stupor;
        but while licking the folds
        her fat made when it rolled
        he forgot to use as condom as he had been told
        so he caught gonorrhea from her pooper.

        • I love you 5:26 am on August 19, 2014 | Reply

          Every. Damn. Limerick.

          That is all.

      • Anonymous 4:49 am on August 19, 2014 | Reply

        Fat girls are the shit. More cushion for the pushing

  • I wish more people would drop my major so I didn’t have to share a mailbox. FML

    +3/-3   

    3:21 am on August 15, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 11:30 am on August 15, 2014 | Reply

      if they are weedchill then maybe you could offer to fuck them up the butt in exchange for sole ownership of the mailbox

    • Buttfucker Jones 1:49 pm on August 15, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo at least people dropped YOUR PENIS so you don’t have to share all that weed when fucking them up the but.

    • F'18 6:39 pm on August 16, 2014 | Reply

      ?

      • tired 1:18 am on August 17, 2014 | Reply

        if this is what you think passes for a character, you better GTFO, F’18.

        • Real F '18 12:42 pm on August 17, 2014 | Reply

          Agreed. It’s not even original as i genuinely used it once in previous thread and now this bozo is abusing it. Pathetic.

          • True F'18 7:12 pm on August 17, 2014 | Reply

            ?

          • bozo #2 9:26 pm on August 17, 2014 | Reply

            I’m still butthurt after naively asking about pull requests on github. I took it out on you, sorry.

          • Bozo? 3:00 am on August 18, 2014 | Reply

            Ok now you’re just being sexist.

            • '15 1:14 pm on August 18, 2014

              Would you rather it be boza?

        • @tired 1:43 pm on August 17, 2014 | Reply

          What if this is an actual ’18?

      • F'18 2:34 am on August 17, 2014 | Reply

        ??

        • F'18 3:43 am on August 18, 2014 | Reply

          ???

          • F'18 11:45 am on August 18, 2014 | Reply

            ?!

            • F'18 2:32 pm on August 18, 2014

              !

            • '14 3:39 pm on August 18, 2014

              You can’t just go around taking factorials of grammatical notation. It’s poor form.

            • F'18 5:56 pm on August 18, 2014

              Not a factorial, an operator concatenation. And please note that these operators do no commute.

            • F'18 10:49 pm on August 18, 2014

              !?

            • F'18 5:25 am on August 19, 2014

              !??

  • Just got a return offer to my Goldman Sachs internship. So much #swag. MLIG

    +1/-20   

    3:18 am on August 15, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 4:07 am on August 15, 2014 | Reply

      420 swag yolo

    • lol 3:54 pm on August 15, 2014 | Reply

      so did lots of ppl. you’re not special but you are a tool. lolol

      • Why 9:45 pm on August 15, 2014 | Reply

        is he a tool?

        • elementary, watson 12:20 pm on August 16, 2014 | Reply

          two words: investment banking.

          but i like to think of that word that way: you’re the tool that the corporations use to instill and expand their control over the world’s economic power (with political power coming as a bonus)

        • it seems 10:13 am on August 18, 2014 | Reply

          finding a way to survive on this planet is below “lol”. Although I’m not sure if he’s a Marxist or an Aristocrat…

          • The Dilettante 6:19 pm on August 18, 2014 | Reply

            Ah yes, a pity that one cannot “find a way to survive on this planet” without making six to nine figures and exploiting the vast majority of the planet’s population through gaming the economy, corrupting governments, and using the livelihoods of everyday people as collateral in your testosterone-induced gambling sprees. Glad to see that at least someone in this world has a practical social-climbing spirit; we’re so terribly lucky to be in your hands.

            You know it’s ultimately people who are critical of the way things are and would like to change them relatively peacefully who are the only things keeping you and the enraged and embittered masses from lopping off your largely empty head. But drooling idiocy like yours, “it seems,” doesn’t exactly do you any favors in that regard; if it’s people like you who’d be on the chopping block, I’ve got half a mind to wait til they bring out the guillotines and grab some popcorn.

    • Anonymous 7:44 pm on August 15, 2014 | Reply

      TMT or bust

    • '15 11:24 pm on August 15, 2014 | Reply

      Just got a return offer to my Blackstone internship. gg noob

  • Girlfriend dumped me. FML

    +8/-0   

    1:37 am on August 13, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Not enough info 8:40 am on August 13, 2014 | Reply

      Without details, I gonna assume that you’re an asshole who totally deserved it. Good for her on finally calling it quits.

      • stahp 2:02 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

        There are so many varied reasons why a relationship might end. You recognize that you have next to no information to go off of, but assume things anyway – that makes you an asshole.

      • lol 11:10 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

        #feminism

        • '15 9:06 am on August 15, 2014 | Reply

          yeah, it’s always the guy’s fault, right? the woman is never to blame in feminist society!

    • F'18 10:17 am on August 13, 2014 | Reply

      I feel ur pain. Bf dumped me. Ur year?
      FODL

      • PSA 6:02 pm on August 13, 2014 | Reply

        With ’18 being an actual class now, the character for making fun of pre-teen speak is now ’19. Go craycray!

        • F'18 8:33 pm on August 13, 2014 | Reply

          Yeah i am an incoming girl frosh. Go ’18. Sigh. Need to get over my heartbreak. I Hope the social life/options for freshmen girls are decent?

          • hahaha 3:42 am on August 14, 2014 | Reply

            hahahahahahaha

            • F'18 6:59 am on August 14, 2014

              ?

          • Sketchy Senior 7:51 am on August 14, 2014 | Reply

            Hey

          • wow 7:02 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

            NACDT

            • F'18 8:20 pm on August 14, 2014

              ??

            • Acronym 10:02 pm on August 14, 2014

              Not Another….

            • wow 3:39 pm on August 15, 2014

              No Acronym Can Describe This

          • Socialize 8:23 am on August 15, 2014 | Reply

            Freshmen girls have it easy, right?

            • F '18 9:02 pm on August 15, 2014

              ?

    • buttfucker 420 10:28 am on August 13, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo if she’s weedchill then maybe you could offer to fuck her up the butt and then maybe she’ll come back to you.

      • Everyonr 3:06 pm on August 13, 2014 | Reply

        Seriously, no one enjoys you

      • OP 2:49 am on August 14, 2014 | Reply

        For your information, it worked! Thanks!

        • real OP 3:05 pm on August 15, 2014 | Reply

          no you’re an asshole.

    • So... 7:58 pm on August 13, 2014 | Reply

      legacy, athlete or minority?

      • buuuut... 12:35 am on August 14, 2014 | Reply

        what about white nerds. don’t we count?

    • Debbie 8:00 pm on August 13, 2014 | Reply

      At first I thought it said ‘on’ between the last two words. Aka it could be worse.

      But I feel your pain, bra.

    • Quesonova 2:05 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

      Don’t get down! There are plenty of other girls out there – try the Swiss!

  • The buttfucker 420 character is the worst one I’ve ever seen. FOLs

    +25/-1   

    2:19 pm on August 10, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Portobello 2:46 pm on August 10, 2014 | Reply

      Some nights I have trouble sleeping and I stare off into the abyss of the blackness of the bedroom, and I have trouble because I think about the much mold that’s grown over my life, my guilt over recyclables that didn’t end up recycled, the days wasted on self-obliteration and nothingness, the quietly desperate days identical to the previous days and the priors and the priors, and all the times I dreamed a sudden drop-everything move to Iceland and a new life but somehow couldn’t and didn’t go through with it, but then I remember, at least I’m not buttfucker 420 — no, that, at least, I’m not — and then I sleep all right.

      • this 4:46 pm on August 10, 2014 | Reply

        +20000000000000

      • hi 1:55 pm on August 11, 2014 | Reply

        I feel like we’re the same person, can we be friends

    • is it 3:04 pm on August 10, 2014 | Reply

      some sort of reference to something that happened during the academic year? or is it just someone being annoying?

    • The Dilettante 10:42 pm on August 10, 2014 | Reply

      They hardly make ‘em like they used to, do they? Mercifully, however, the standard is about to be raised once more.

      “I shall return again; I shall return
      to laugh and love and watch with wonder-eyes
      at golden noon the forest fires burn,
      wafting their blue-black smoke to sapphire skies.
      I shall return to loiter by the streams
      that bathe the brown blades of the bending grasses,
      and realize once more my thousand dreams
      of waters rushing down the mountain passes.
      I shall return to hear the fiddle and fife
      of village dances, dear delicious tunes
      that stir the hidden depths of native life,
      stray melodies of dim remembered runes.
      I shall return, I shall return again,
      to ease my mind of long, long years of pain.”

      Or something like that. At any rate, my dears — it’s good to be home.

      • yo 5:40 pm on August 11, 2014 | Reply

        when did you kill Master Limerick and become Sir Sonnet?

    • anon 12:00 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

      is Buttfucker 420 the new fun fact or something

      • Fun Fact 9:11 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

        He is not.

  • I’m so sick of the white boys at this school. FML

    +21/-9   

    9:24 pm on August 9, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • inb4 10:27 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

      just 420butt weedfuck them yolo chill whitecastle

    • buttfucker 420 10:43 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo why don’t you just smoke weed with them and then fuk dem up da butt. That’ll solve all your problems. YOLO swag.

    • fail troll is fail 12:25 am on August 10, 2014 | Reply

      I’m so sick of the black girls at this school. FML.

      • Look 5:10 pm on August 10, 2014 | Reply

        I know you’re trying to point out how this post fails, but saying that even sarcastically is just not cool

        • No u 3:22 pm on August 11, 2014 | Reply

          Post makes a valid point about the ridiculous double standards in our overly-PC society.

        • what... 4:50 pm on August 11, 2014 | Reply

          …you don’t hate black people?

      • wtf 5:58 pm on August 10, 2014 | Reply

        …who even said anything about black girls?

      • anon 12:02 pm on August 12, 2014 | Reply

        I’m so sick of the blue genderfluid people at this school.

    • ugh 3:39 am on August 10, 2014 | Reply

      seriously. literally i can’t handle how obnoxious they are. like do they even realize how terrible they all are

      • oh 10:34 am on August 11, 2014 | Reply

        shit, I guess I’m terrible. that’s frustrating, because I try to be a decent person.

        or maybe you’re not talking about me, but just generalizing about a large group of people identified solely by skin color and gender from experiences you’ve had with some of its members.

        • #notallwhiteboys 4:37 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

          .

    • omg 4:08 am on August 10, 2014 | Reply

      yesss

    • 15 9:56 am on August 11, 2014 | Reply

      LOL so true

    • So... 11:26 pm on August 11, 2014 | Reply

      Minority?

    • '15 9:42 am on August 12, 2014 | Reply

      seriously how is this not considered incredibly racist and sexist? If anyone said “I’m so sick of the black girls at this school,” that person would never hear the end of it.

  • Grade deflation is on its last legs. OLWBG!

    +7/-2   

    9:17 am on August 8, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • '14 9:53 am on August 8, 2014 | Reply

      FML

      • buttfucker 420 7:21 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

        420 swag yolo

        • yo 5:17 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

          seriously. you’re irritating. stop.

    • bro 9:58 am on August 8, 2014 | Reply

      Unless you’re in one of the classes screwed over by it. Now we’re gonna look retarded compared to incoming classes. “Oh, Princeton has stopped its deflation policy. Why is your GPA so low?” Well, I got screwed over by it my first two years! Fuckers.

    • Undergrad 12:12 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

      I’d rather have a lower grade that sets me apart than receive a bunch of less meaningful As. I have not yet experienced or heard of unfair comparison with other schools because of it. I’d need a pretty convincing case for me to believe that grade deflation caused harm. It’s just a scapegoat.

      • wtf? 9:59 am on August 11, 2014 | Reply

        “i’d rather have a lower grade that sets me apart” <– i have literally no idea what this means. i suppose a C in a class with a B average would firmly set you aside from the smart people?

        • Undergrad 10:21 pm on August 12, 2014 | Reply

          No, obviously I meant “sets me apart” in the positive direction. For instance, I’d rather get an A- where the average is a B+ than get an A when everyone else does. The issue is that we’re lowering the ceiling. Was it really that hard to infer from my original comment?

          • yes 5:56 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

            yes.

    • GS 12:42 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

      This never made sense to me. If you’re worried about the average grade getting too high, then you’re worried about the students earning too many As. If that’s the case, you shouldn’t set the bar low and be upset when students clear it. Make the class harder instead.

      • not unilateral 10:00 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

        The problem was the disparity in what constituted an A, and this varied greatly across campus, but also highly within departments. Some departments had a reputation for giving out As easily, and some profs really took advantage of the correlation between % of A’s given and favorable teaching evaluations. Giving out tons of A’s was one way to really boost your evals without doing any extra work.

        • GS 2:46 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

          That makes more sense. Thanks for the patience, I only know about one department :P

    • buttfucker 420 4:04 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo now we’ll all have more time to smoke weed and have butt sex YOLO

      • Cuntlicker Jones 7:37 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

        For your information, you’re insecure because YOUR PENIS sucks, literally. You’re an asshole.

    • Sceptic 4:36 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

      What is a grade? According to Paul L. Dressel, it’s ‘An inadequate report of an inaccurate judgment by a biased and variable judge of the extent to which a student has attained an undefined level of mastery of an unknown proportion of an indefinite material’ (quoted in Ohmer Milton, et al., Making Sense of College Grades (1986), p. 23). It is disheartening in the extreme that something so meaningless should have preoccupied so many people at Princeton so needlessly for so long. But it is heartening that the Committee made the recommendations it did.

      • '15 6:44 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

        We can sit here and bitch about how grades are subjective and “meaningless” all we want, but that very term is relative. We may all agree that grades are meaningless to us, but we can do nothing about the fact that grades and, consequently, GPA mean a hell of a lot to graduate schools, professional schools, employers, etc.

    • GS 11:47 am on August 13, 2014 | Reply

      Hate to break it to you, but your grades aren’t being deflated nearly as much as you think they are. (The guidelines for grade distributions refer to professors’ averages over several years, not just for one class.) In most departments, profs adjust grades UP at the end of the semester to make sure they are giving ENOUGH A’s. Expectations here are high, as they should be, but many people are meeting them and have the GPAs to reflect that. Don’t expect this new policy change to have a huge impact on your grades. You know what would really inflate your GPA? Making sure you (carefully!) do all the readings for your classes, turn in all the assignments (on time!), prioritize your courses over your extra-curriculars, and get extra assistance from professors/AIs/tutors if, after doing those things, you are still struggling. Good luck ;)

      • grad students 9:12 pm on August 17, 2014 | Reply

        suck

  • Why does everyone talk about remembering their eating clubs for the rest of their lives when it is only a two year experience? FmyCo-opL

    +5/-1   

    10:02 am on August 6, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • cuz 12:43 pm on August 6, 2014 | Reply

      they paid over 10k on this shit so might as well pretend to have had a good time.

      • buttfucker 420 9:40 pm on August 7, 2014 | Reply

        if u smoke 420weed u dont have 2 pretend its good cuz that shits dank

        • buttfucker 420 9:42 pm on August 7, 2014 | Reply

          also dont 5get 2 fuck em up da but

          • Ah 5:41 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

            A Terran, I see.

            • uh 7:52 pm on August 9, 2014

              nope

            • Nah 3:25 pm on August 11, 2014

              Zerg bruh

    • buttfucker 420 9:28 pm on August 6, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo it’s because they smoke a lot of weed and then have a lot of butt sex. duh.

    • well 12:29 pm on August 7, 2014 | Reply

      two years is a long time! And a lot of people really do make their club into their home at Princeton. That being said, you can also find your home in your coop or college or any group of people.

      • GS 3:54 pm on August 7, 2014 | Reply

        “two years is a long time”

    • Anon 9:15 pm on August 7, 2014 | Reply

      I have friends in 2D who consider it having become almost like a home away from home, and while I never felt that close to my Eating Club, I know people who genuinely felt like it was a place to find friendship, fun, solace, and family. Two year experiences aren’t the same for everyone, and often times it is what one does and can make of it, which varies highly.

    • I don't understand 3:21 pm on August 8, 2014 | Reply

      Why is everybody above butthurt about clubs? Any undergraduate student has the ability to become a member. If you don’t choose to join, that’s your own decision, but that choice doesn’t make you in any way morally superior to those who do. All of the judgmental bullshit above is both laughable and childish. Grow the fuck up.

      • "Any undergraduate student has the ability to become a member" 11:26 am on August 9, 2014 | Reply

        Not true: Some of us can’t pay the 10k per year.

        • so... 5:47 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

          take out a loan? that’s what i did– if it’s important to you, make it happen.

  • My Princeton girlfriend just dumped me this summer and all my friends keep saying ”it’s always darkest before the dawn.” Is that even true? Pretty sure that’s just straight-up false. FML

    +7/-0   

    9:47 pm on August 4, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • anon 10:19 pm on August 4, 2014 | Reply

      “Princeton girlfriend”? Maybe she dumped you because she found out about your other girlfriend.

    • Well 10:43 pm on August 4, 2014 | Reply

      It’s not like she can dump you again while you’re already dumped.

      Anyway, a few break ups are good for you. It might not seem like it now but it will make you a stronger person. It’s fine to be sad, but don’t overlook the rest of your life.As they say, “this too shall pass,” be it good or bad. I don’t about your saying, but I’ve found that one always holds true.

    • Not to mention 12:14 am on August 5, 2014 | Reply

      it’s just a shitty way of brushing you off. Some friends. FTLs

    • Ditto 6:09 am on August 5, 2014 | Reply

      Welcome to my world. Sucks. I’m a girl — Trying to get psyched for my freshman yr at Pton and my longterm bf at another college ended it abruptly. R u @ pton too?

      • Ain't nobody 5:25 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

        >R u @ pton too?

        Ain’t nobody gon’ take yeh srsly w/ comments liek that.

    • '16 10:17 am on August 5, 2014 | Reply

      Are you friends with Florence Welch?

      • 'SixTeen 9:05 pm on August 5, 2014 | Reply

        AH! I get it! <3.
        THE STARS, THE MOOOOOON, THEY HAVE ALL BEEN BLOWN OUTTT. YOU LEFT ME IN THE DAAAARK. NO DAWN, NO DAY, I'M ALWAYS IN THIS TWIIIILIGHT IN THE SHADOW OF YOUR HEART.
        "Cosmic Love" – Florence + The Machine. BETTA RECOGNIZE BETCHEZZZZZZZZZ
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM

    • Technically correct 2:20 pm on August 5, 2014 | Reply

      The entire night is before the dawn, so the darkest part must be before it as well.

    • is she 4:22 pm on August 5, 2014 | Reply

      SP’77?

    • Info 5:19 pm on August 5, 2014 | Reply

      Are you a Princeton student? Year?

    • buttfucker 420 1:17 pm on August 7, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo maybe you should ask her to smoke weed and chill and then have butt sex and then it’ll all work out

      • OP 2:48 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

        For your information, that’s exactly what another guy did and now she’s leaving me for him. You’re an asshole.

    • Anonymous 6:46 pm on August 9, 2014 | Reply

      It’s in “Shake It Out” by Florence + Machine. Also I’m Princeton ’16.

      • ummmmmmmmm 5:26 pm on August 14, 2014 | Reply

        ….. you do know F+TM didn’t make that up, right?
        That’s not a new saying.

  • I wonder if I’m the first person to use PFML from a bomb shelter during air raid sirens. MTLVLIG

    +10/-1   

    5:04 pm on August 4, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • '14 5:30 pm on August 4, 2014 | Reply

      Stay safe!

    • buttfucker 420 6:05 pm on August 4, 2014 | Reply

      yoyo smoke some 420weed with palestinianbrossss then fuk em up da but

      • OP 12:17 am on August 5, 2014 | Reply

        For your information, I tried that during the 23rd 72-hour cease-fire, but they got literally butthurt and fired off some more rockets in response. So now that cease-fire is off. You’re an asshole.

      • Cuntlicker Jones 3:04 pm on August 5, 2014 | Reply

        At least YOUR PENIS is literate.

    • Anonymous 12:16 pm on August 7, 2014 | Reply

      Free Palestine

  • Ugh, ’15 now means ’senior’. FML

    +51/-1   

    5:55 pm on August 3, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
  • Regret requesting a quad because now I have to share a room and it’s going to be so hard to hookup. FML.

    +5/-4   

    10:54 pm on July 31, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Anonymous 11:59 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      Hookup with quadmates OP

    • buttfucker 420 12:18 am on August 1, 2014 | Reply

      u can stil fuck butt if ur quadm8s r weedchill

      • '15 1:28 pm on August 2, 2014 | Reply

        Hey, I know your internship at Goldman seems transcendantly enlightening now but when you come back to a much closer approximation of the real world in September people are going to wonder what the fuck is wrong with you.

        If you are who I think you are, I’m already wondering.

      • what is this 6:56 pm on August 2, 2014 | Reply

        this character sucks. it’s too repetitive and doesn’t even sound funny.

    • Brotip 3:39 am on August 1, 2014 | Reply

      Getting sexiled is a badge of honor, and you should acknowledge it as such. Your roommate will thank you for the opportunity to take one for the team.

    • easy 10:11 am on August 1, 2014 | Reply

      make sure you have a high-quality couch in your common room, and be a good sport about sleeping on it when your roommate has company. they’ll return the favor.
      the big key, as in many things, is good communication.

    • no 12:41 pm on August 1, 2014 | Reply

      It’s “hook up”, not “hookup”. The former is a verb, while the latter is a noun.

      • +1 12:08 am on August 2, 2014 | Reply

        thank u

      • yesyesyes 11:53 pm on August 2, 2014 | Reply

        THANK YOU for pointing that out. Also, people who say, “It’s been awhile since…” and “I ate alot of …”

        • Pi Phi 3:50 pm on August 3, 2014 | Reply

          OHHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD HWATTSS WRONGGG WITH THEMMMM YOUR ALL UGLY ONCOOLL PERTENTIOUS NERRDDS MUAH YOUR NOT A DOL

        • '16 11:55 pm on August 4, 2014 | Reply

          And yet I’m sure you have no problem using “because” (originally “by cause”) or “however” (originally “how ever”). Pull your head out of your ass and learn some English.

    • Tired 12:14 pm on August 5, 2014 | Reply

      I applaud your optimism. Maybe you won’t be that lucky?

  • Price to Detroit. FML

    +3/-1   

    10:53 pm on July 31, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Michiganian '15 11:08 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      MLIG

  • WTF is with all these fucking summer camps. Get all these fucking children off my fucking campus ASAP. FML FML FML

    +21/-2   

    9:34 am on July 31, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • '15 11:36 am on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      Aren’t children a little young for that? Do their parents realize they’re at a fucking camp?

      That said, I wish those types of camps existed when I was a teenager. Knowing how to fuck would have made high school a lot less unpleasant.

      • parent 11:50 am on August 1, 2014 | Reply

        These fucking camps are great. I have three fucking children (not each other of course) and it’s great to send them off to this camp for a week – it gives me a chance to be a fucking parent for once.

    • buttfucker 420 1:13 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      yo yo weed 420 yolo

    • Calling it now 3:59 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      OP hates Obama

    • '14 5:12 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      $$$

    • GS 10:43 am on August 1, 2014 | Reply

      This is how I feel during the school year. . .

      • GS is bitter because he/she made the wrong life choice 12:26 pm on August 2, 2014 | Reply

        But that was a good zing nonetheless

      • GS2 7:01 pm on August 2, 2014 | Reply

        +1000. The sad part is that when the kids leave, the university practically shuts down.

  • I’m ugly and stupid and dorky. FML.

    +1/-3   

    2:38 pm on July 30, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • So... 2:26 am on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      Legacy or minority?

      • buttfucker 420 1:12 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

        ass hole or weed fucker ?

  • Completely in love with a guy who won’t talk to me. FML

    +9/-1   

    4:53 am on July 29, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • buttfucker 420 2:32 pm on July 30, 2014 | Reply

      have u tried 420 fuckin butt

      • OP 12:21 am on July 31, 2014 | Reply

        For your information, that’s why he won’t talk to me. I tricked him into eating a pot brownie and shoved a strap-on into his butt while he was stoned, and now that he’s sober he holds it against me. You’re an asshole.

    • Try going commando 1:01 am on July 31, 2014 | Reply

      Works like a charm ;)

      • GS 8:22 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

        Unless he wont’ talk to you because he’s terrified of women. (yeah, yeah, heteronormativity)

        • Anon 8:56 pm on August 1, 2014 | Reply

          That’s because you’re talking to a male GS.

      • what is with 7:08 pm on August 1, 2014 | Reply

        you girls and the commando thing? a) i’m not sure that it’s hygienic and b) panties can be super sexy if done right

        • Dude 12:30 am on August 2, 2014 | Reply

          Not sexier than without.

          • '15 1:22 pm on August 2, 2014 | Reply

            This. Related, I seriously don’t understand why underwear always shows up on porn actresses. It would be so much hotter if it didn’t.

  • My father tells me that I’m a coward for wanting to transfer due to grade deflation. FML

    +6/-9   

    3:44 pm on July 28, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • bro 4:03 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

      if that’s the only reason you wanna transfer, your father is completely right. while grades are deflated at princeton, you knew this when you matriculated. your life is not over if you get a C or two. or three. grades are mere letters on paper. there’s a lot more to a person than that.

    • buttfucker 420 4:41 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

      ur also a weed arse

    • You are 4:50 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

      pussy

    • if 5:05 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

      you’re ’17, shut the fuck up. If not, then enjoy starting from scratch and all the transfer paperwork. Either way fuck you.

      • Yo 3:34 pm on July 30, 2014 | Reply

        Apparently there are ’17s who transferred out already.

    • Ditto 8:41 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

      TrNsfer to where?

      • Better schools 6:01 pm on July 29, 2014 | Reply

        Like Harvard, Yale, Stanford, MIT, Wharton, Columbia…

        • Not this 6:25 pm on July 29, 2014 | Reply

          Bullshit again

          • Cuntlicker Jones 4:30 pm on July 30, 2014 | Reply

            At least YOUR PENIS go to these schools.

            • Can you has 7:37 am on July 31, 2014

              grammars?

          • buttfucker 420 1:13 pm on July 31, 2014 | Reply

            has he tried weeding while buttfuckin

    • Well... 4:44 pm on July 29, 2014 | Reply

      he’s right.

    • If you're worried about grad school 1:03 pm on July 30, 2014 | Reply

      I got a couple of “C”s here and still got into some pretty selective programs at Yale, Stanford, MIT, etc (as a non-URM). You can make up for it with other stuff.

    • '14 6:30 pm on August 16, 2014 | Reply

      You are

  • I’ve been feeling pain since my grandma’s death. And my uncle was killed at Louis Burgers. FML

    +3/-3   

    5:06 pm on July 26, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • 14 1:42 am on July 28, 2014 | Reply

      This is in blatant violation of University policy regarding plagiarism, and I intent to report you to the Honor Committee at the earliest opportunity.

      • '14 12:43 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

        Not reporting this would be in blatant violation of University policy, and I intent to report you to the Honor Committee if you do not report OP to the Honor Committee.

        • ohai 3:42 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

          Captain Redundant

    • K street 3:26 pm on July 28, 2014 | Reply

      The university policy only applies in the narrow context of class work. Plagiarism is allowed and protected by the university policy on this and other nonaffiliated websites.

      • innocent 8:49 am on July 29, 2014 | Reply

        Actually, the new dean of the college is pretty cool with using old solutions and the net for help on assignments. Just appeal your case and if the charge doesn’t get tossed entirely, the penalty will just be downgraded to a warning.

  • I just want to be old so being ugly will no longer be a problem. FML

    +25/-1   

    12:20 am on July 25, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
  • Caught bedbugs on study abroad. FMLFMLFML

    +10/-0   

    10:51 pm on July 24, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Easy answer 10:18 pm on July 26, 2014 | Reply

      Threesome!

    • curious 6:12 pm on August 2, 2014 | Reply

      legacy, minority, or athlete?

  • Why is everyone in TI and Cottage so transphobic? FTheirCisnormativeLs

    +5/-13   

    7:45 pm on July 23, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Seriously? 7:53 pm on July 23, 2014 | Reply

      Trans people are just kinda weird…

    • Anonymous 3:29 am on July 24, 2014 | Reply

      Why specifically TI and Cottage?

      • Not OP 9:07 am on July 24, 2014 | Reply

        but they really reinforce gender roles, which is inherently bad. They’re also fairly white == privilege, so it’s a lot worse (but not any less unexpected) than if it came from someone else

        • right? 6:54 pm on July 24, 2014 | Reply

          honestly these white boys need to stop tho

          • not on campus 12:42 am on July 25, 2014 | Reply

            what’s the (presumably widely known) event that triggered this specific PFML? I’m so confused.

            • ugh 11:54 pm on July 25, 2014

              just, everything

          • what? 8:10 pm on July 26, 2014 | Reply

            are non-whites more likely to be trans or something?

    • Trans is fine. 10:28 am on July 24, 2014 | Reply

      Aggressively trans is really annoying.

      • Um... 11:28 pm on July 24, 2014 | Reply

        How does one be “aggressively trans?” It seems more like a state of being rather than an action.

        • i just 10:06 am on July 25, 2014 | Reply

          find that a lot of the trans people i know tend to over-share about their sex lives, and it drives me insane. i don’t like hearing about anyone’s sex lives. however, when the speaker’s hetero i’m comfortable telling them to keep it to themselves, while otherwise i just have to sit there and be awkward.

          • Anon 8:36 am on July 26, 2014 | Reply

            This is actually a very fair point. I can see myself feeling fine saying something of the short to a hetero speaker, but saying it to a trans person seems much more likely to provoke backlash for transphobia.

          • 14 6:53 pm on August 1, 2014 | Reply

            You seem like you might be mixing up trans with lesbian/gay/bi. Someone who isn’t trans is cis (cisgender or cissexual). Trans is about gender identity and expression

            • sorry fair enough 11:42 am on August 17, 2014

              replace “hetero” with “cis” above.

    • Pi Phi 8:45 pm on July 24, 2014 | Reply

      OHOHO MY GAAWWWD WYH DON’T YOU JSUT GETT DADDY TO PYA FOR A SXE CHANGE OPERRATIOOON THAN WE CAN ALL BE PALES AND UOY CNA BKCIER IVY WITH HET COOL PEOPLE NO NEDE TO BE ARONUD THE UNPRESITGUOUS LOSSERS NI TGIER IN NAD COTAGGE MUAH YOUR A DOL

      • don't just assume 12:39 pm on July 25, 2014 | Reply

        trans = male that wants to be female

        • Anonymous 11:57 pm on July 26, 2014 | Reply

          wait what? a female who wants to be a male can get a sex change operation too, right?

          • what part of "don't just assume" 6:15 am on July 27, 2014 | Reply

            did you not understand?

          • yeah 3:52 pm on July 27, 2014 | Reply

            that commenter is a tard. there is such things as a phalloplasty

          • I think 10:41 pm on July 27, 2014 | Reply

            the commenter was responding to “muah your a dol” and the assumption that Pi Phi would want to be friends with the person. On the one hand, Pi Phi uses that as a traditional signoff so it might not be related to the gender of the addressee; on the other hand, Pi Phi is much more likely to be friends (“pales”) with a woman and see a man as a potential sexual partner. Perhaps a flawed assumption, but not entirely unfounded; the tone of the Pi Phi post does imply that it is aimed at a woman.

            • eh 9:49 pm on July 28, 2014

              only barely. that comment could very well go either way. If Pi Phi was talking specifically towards a girl, I would imagine the word she’d choose for friends would be “BETSIESSSS.”

            • Pi Phi 11:05 pm on July 28, 2014

              OHOHO MYYYY GAWD Y WULD U PRJOCT YUOR OWN PREJCIDES ONN POOR LITTTTTLE MEEEEE. ME AND YM SISSTERS DNO’T DISCMRINATE ON HTE BASSIS FO GENDRE WE ONLY DISCMRINAT ON HTE BASSIS FO CEIXNESSSSS MUAH YOUR NOT A DOL.

    • Cuntlicker Jones 9:21 pm on July 24, 2014 | Reply

      At least YOUR PENIS is not transphobic.

  • My mom discovered my large purple dildo at home, and I’m 2000 miles away at my internship. FML FML FML!!

    +9/-0   

    4:01 pm on July 23, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Cuntlicker Hayward 5:43 pm on July 23, 2014 | Reply

      At least she didn’t POUND YOUR PENIS with THAT BOYPUSSY.

  • Jesus… My friends have all abandoned for the summer. Can someone please be my friend? MLIDepressed

    +3/-4   

    10:51 am on July 23, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Jesus 2:47 pm on July 23, 2014 | Reply

      what’s up?

      • are you 8:15 pm on July 24, 2014 | Reply

        fucking retarded? OP literally typed out what is up. Idiot.

        • Beelzebub 10:49 am on July 25, 2014 | Reply

          I know, right? That guy never shuts up and pisses me off with his stupid questions.

          • Beezlepal 8:35 am on July 26, 2014 | Reply

            I’m not your bub, friend.

            • canadian 4:20 am on July 29, 2014

              i’m not your friend, guy

            • jbiebs 10:22 pm on July 29, 2014

              I’m not your gay, buddy

            • @ posters above me 3:10 am on August 2, 2014

              Respect.

  • My girlfriend grinds on the crew boi down the hall. FML

    +6/-2   

    10:51 am on July 23, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • bro 3:50 pm on July 23, 2014 | Reply

      dump that hoe!

  • I wish we had the old novelty accounts back. FMLackOfBoyPussyPoundingL

    +5/-2   

    10:50 am on July 23, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Fun Fact 12:02 pm on July 23, 2014 | Reply

      19% of people who submit PFMLs have had something unfortunate happen to their penises. This is an alarmingly high incidence.

    • Really? 9:44 pm on July 24, 2014 | Reply

      Out of all the novelty accounts you miss Tony Hayward?

    • SGF 12:54 pm on July 25, 2014 | Reply

      I think you’re 14 and an idiot. Look at your life. Look at your choices.

    • Cuntlicker Jones 10:35 pm on July 29, 2014 | Reply

      At least you have YOUR PENIS back.

  • If you interrupt Mulvey in ORF311, he’ll steal the shit out of your dorm. http://bit.ly/1jTzPIv FOLs

    +8/-1   

    6:35 pm on July 22, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
  • I really want to bang my co-worker, but I am afraid it will create a hostile work environment for her. I don’t want to her to feel uncomfortable. FML

    +3/-3   

    2:52 am on July 22, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • Curious 9:09 am on July 22, 2014 | Reply

      Co worker at princeton?

      • Curious 1:45 am on July 23, 2014 | Reply

        Legacy, minority, or athlete?

    • Tired 1:37 pm on July 22, 2014 | Reply

      Ummm. If she’s amenable and you aren’t going to turn into some crazy stalker, why would the work environment automatically become hostile?

    • here's the system 4:12 pm on July 22, 2014 | Reply

      are you her superior? move on
      are you her junior or peer? go for it

    • i have a job 8:09 pm on July 22, 2014 | Reply

      That’s so considerate of you (but actually). I hope it works. Maybe she wants to bang you, too and maybe, it won’t be uncomfortable after? Maybe talking to her about it before and after would help that? If she’s an adult who actively expresses her readiness and willingness to do it and both of you are on the same page on what it means, I really don’t see a problem.

    • ... 7:51 am on July 23, 2014 | Reply

      BF ’17?

  • Why isn’t Princeton on yik yak? FOLs

    +2/-1   

    4:14 pm on July 21, 2014 | Post Comment  

     
    • we are 1:02 pm on July 22, 2014 | Reply

      it just sucks

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